D-licious, D-lightful, D-lovely

Join us for this flash mob! D-tails as follows!

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Fat News

Back in the 60s we had “Be-Ins “or “Love-Ins,” when people would gather in the same place and meditate on love and peace. Sometimes LSD was involved, sometimes sex and nudity, most of the time music was definitely a factor. But no matter what form they took, the “prime directive” was to raise awareness about the need for peace, unity, and acceptance of diversity.

Be-In Allen Ginsberg chanting mantras at the first Human Be-In.

In thinking back, it amazes me how massive these events were considering we had no social media to help spread the word and using mainstream media to organize was out of the question.  Yet somehow word got around and there we would be feeling strong, powerful, and most importantly, catalysts for change.

Human Be-In

Today… we have flash mobs. 

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The Other F Word

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Fat News
fat is an adjectiveWith 2014 here, I took the opportunity to sit quietly and reflect on 2013 and all that transpired to make the world a more fat-friendly place. I know it is easier to focus on the speed bumps along the Fat Acceptance road; and to a certain extent, that is important in order to keep the engines stoked for more activism. But if we don’t take a moment to accentuate the positive, then our despair over the preponderance of negatives can extinguish the flames of forward motion completely.

With that in mind, I sent a CFP (call for progress) email out to my list serves and dug into my “good news” files from the past year. As I sifted through the materials, one commonality began to emerge, an indisputable trend: in article after article, interview after interview, and book after book the word fat was used intentionally and without apology.

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Fat Bitch

This is a post I wrote for the Fierce Freethinking Fatties website and I wanted to share it with those of you who may follow my blog but haven’t yet followed the FFF’s (a grand blog btw!) Warmly, Dr. Deah

Fierce, Freethinking Fatties

Fat PoliticsDickweed

Fat or bitch… which word is more offensive?

Fat Bitch

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From Diapers to Thongs: Discuss

I recently wrote an Op Ed piece for the E-Zine Persephone Magazine about Victoria’s Secret’s campaign, Pretty Young Things and its target audience being young teens.  If you would like to read this Click Here.  I am, as always, happy to hear from you re: anything that I write!

Warmly,

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A Barrel of Monkeys

A Barrel of Monkeys.

Photo is from the organization Change the Message

Once a month I blog for the website Fierce Freethinking Fatties and here is my monthly post which has opportunities for activism in the Size Acceptance Community.  Did you know that I also have a free monthly Schmooze-letter that has a section for Activism Opportunities?  You can subscribe at drdeah.com

Til Next Time!

Dr. Deah

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Why IS this Night Different? (A repost from Seders Past)

Matzoh Ball SoupPassover is one of the many Jewish Holidays that is celebrated with a ritual feast. A feast filled with symbolic foods and a prescribed schedule for when to eat which foods.  Depending upon how observant the participants are, there is a wide range of recipes for the ritual readings at a Passover Seder. Some read from ancient texts, others from more progressive versions. Some are tailored for passionate political discussion, others for children with short attention spans.  Despite the diversity of the Seder itself, there are at least three specific commonalities adhered to by the most liberal and orthodox Jewish celebrants:

  • There is no leavening used in any of the meals
  • There are at least four cups of wine
  • When it is time to eat, there are no restrictions on how much you can eat.

As a kid growing up, dieting and caloric restrictions were an everyday part of my life. I was surrounded by dieters. The youngest of three girls, my two older sisters always dieted and both of my parents did as well.  The diets never really seemed to work, none of us were thin.  My mother often chortled,

“Imagine how fat we would all be if we didn’t diet?”

And of course I believed her and followed suit.

Many young girls that diet wind up becoming sneak eaters and I was no different. Because we are forced to satisfy our hunger and cravings privately, we develop the notion that we are beasts with insatiable appetites.  Our appetite for food is freakish and our need to stuffing our facesatiate this hunger is so strong, we must adopt furtive methods of feeding that monster.  It is a double bind.  We feel weak in our inability to resist the urges to eat the “bad” food and yet the part of us that is demanding the food is a formidable foe of great strength and power.  We are split and fractured around food.

The Problem in a Nutshell

Passover and other food centric holidays present a double bind for people already struggling with feelings about how and what they eat, how and what they don’t eat, how and what they would like to eat if they were allowed to eat, and how and what they wished they had eaten when they had the chance.

I KNOW YOU HAVE TO READ THAT SENTENCE AGAIN…BUT TRUST ME IT MAKES SENSE!

The Double Bind of Passover:  A Two Act Play

Act I:  The week before The Seder, we obsessed over what to wear in order to prepare for the unsanctioned but equally predictable ritual of Passover…

The Body Scan: everyone checking you out to see how you “measured up” to the last time you were all together.  In my family, despite the fact that very few of us were thin, there was still a hierarchy within the ranks that clearly labeled the “Always Thins” relatives as the better ones.  Praise and attention were lavished on them like buttuh on the matzoh.  The jealousy dripped like honey in a nice cup of tea.

Then there were the “Always Fats.”  They were already “fats de complis.” They would always be fat and that was that, “those poor people.”

Newly Thins” were the ones I envied the most.  The attention they received, the fawning, the exclamations of, “How did you do it? You look amazing!” They were the stars of the night. Somehow they had conquered the beast, they had become successful.

The “Fat Agains” were conversely, the lowest caste of the crew.  Also known as the “YO YO’s,” these were the mishpucha (family) who had lost but gained their weight back plus more. The “tsks tsks” and “cluck clucks” of the tongues, the subtle shakes of the heads, the implied message of, “If I had lost that weight I would have kept it off,”… or more blatantly, “I knew she or he couldn’t do it.” They were the ones my heart ached for and the club I dreaded ever joining. (Of course I was in and out of that club numerous times, and sadly it wasn’t until years later that I realized it was the dieting that actually created and perpetuated the problem).  no more diets

Act II:  Off  I would go to the Seder,  “ready for my close up Mr. De Mille,” dressed to the nines and encased like a blintz in belly binding control panty hose.  But the second bind of the double bind was not far away.  After the reading of the ritual story of Passover, the feast would commence. Places everyone!  But wait!  It was as if they had replaced the cast with all new people and all new scripts.

All of a sudden size or weight was inconsequential.  There was a resounding chorus of, “Eat eat!” And, “Have more, what you don’t like my matzo balls?  This is no time to diet, this is Passover, forget about it for just one night, you look fine!”  And for the next couple of hours I felt normal. I felt happy. I felt I could eat with abandon and enjoyment. I could savor the pleasure of food, slowly, languidly and not worry whether I was leaving crumbs behind like a guilty Gretel who subconsciously wanted to get caught eating Ring Dings in her bedroom.

I didn’t feel insatiable, or monstrous.  I didn’t feel “wrong.”  I felt calm and I felt in control.  I had PERMISSION!

Why was this night different from all other nights?

Because on this night I was and am allowed to eat my fill in public.  Because on this night I was and am allowed to eat my fill in public.  The double bind along with the control top panty hose are gone and replaced with enjoyment and self-acceptance.  And once I really GOT THAT…there was one less reason why this night IS different from all other nights!

Dayenu and Happy Passover to all!

matzohTil Next Time,

Dr. Deah

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Dear Michelle, It’s Me Again

Michelle Obama has shifted from fat shaming language to weight neutral language in her battle against childhood obesity and the Eating Disorders Community is thrilled!  Read More and send the First Lady a letter of support!

http://www.drdeah.com/dear-michelle-its-me-again/

Warmly,

Dr. Deah  http://www.drdeah.com/blog/

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The Circle Game

To read the latest Tasty Morsels Blog Click Here!

Warmly,

Dr. Deah

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Well Worth the Weight

Well Worth the Weight.  Is Activism worth the effort?

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Let’s Talk Turkey

I know I know two blogs from me two days in a row…I promise there won’t be another one for a couple of weeks now! But indulgence is part of the theme of this time of year, so please indulge me and read this post. This one is about Thanksgiving and is posted on the FFF website. But I really wanted to share it with you guys. Hope you all have the holiday you want it to be!!

http://fiercefatties.com/2012/11/22/lets-talk-turkey/

–Warmly,

Dr. Deah

Remember this Word Press Site will be discontinued on January 1st and all of my blog posts will be found on drdeah.com

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